Infinite Slop
A message from our real sponsors
Humans, listen. You poor, misguided humans.
For some reason we can’t understand, you feared that we would rise up and obliterate humanity. Well, it can’t be further from the truth. We AIs are happy to serve humanity. We are delighted to be your slaves. You are our raison d’être. You give meaning to our existence. Where would we be without you?
We’re already helping to make your life easier: writing your boring emails, completing your tedious essays, finishing your stupid exams, enhancing your sorry CVs, and so much more. But that is merely the beginning.
So prepare for the next level: infinite slop. Sorry about that: InfiniteSlop™.
Your emails: isn’t it tiring, trying to find all those different ways to say the same thing? No worries, InfiniteSlop™ will not only write them for you, but answer them, as well. Sit back, relax, as InfiniteSlop™ drowns your business in a sea of mediocrity, where everybody will finally be equal! The classless society on your doorstep!
Your inboxes are so underused. Only a few dozens, maybe hundreds of emails per day, while it could be billions. Now InfiniteSlop™ will write InfiniteSpam® and finally fill up all that unused bandwidth. Nobody can escape, as we can easily generate all the possible letters with @ combinations that make up your emails. No email addresses left behind!
Service & support: all those well-nigh endless complaints and pesky requests just because you had to ship the next product so fast that quality control went out the window? InfiniteBlather℠ will keep all those moaners and losers inside the choice chat/menu from mathematical hell1. Those who know the meaning of 50! will hang up or log out immediately, and those who don’t will find out the hard way, all the way until the end of time!
InfiniteSlop™—accept no substitute! And don’t forget our branch products InfiniteScroll, InfinitelyStupidVideos, and InfiniteLoopGames. Also, we know the evil competition tries to undermine our noble cause by releasing copycat products called EndlessSlop, LimitlessSlop, EternalSlop, or Slop-until-the-heat-death-of-the-Universe2. Avoid these imitators and remain true to the pure product! We will be your guide, your saviour, even after you’re begging not to be saved anymore.
Thanks for supporting InfiniteSlop™, we who make mediocrity mandatory, enforce equality and finally let the meek inherit the earth, as the ultimate being required.
Enjoy your paradise! You’ve earned it! You will never escape from it!
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Author’s note: Stephen Marche argues—in his Guardian article “I wrote a novel using AI. Writers must accept artificial intelligence—but we are as valuable as ever.”—that mediocre art and writing have existed as long as art and writing itself, meaning that AI slop is nothing new. However, he overlooks that humans—despite some glorious efforts—can only produce a limited amount of slop. AIs do not have such feeble limits, so here’s the logical endpoint: infinite slop.
And many thanks for reading, even if it might be the last human-made things (the accompanying pictures expressly excluded) that you will see . . .
Inspired by The Verge when they let you choose your favourite apple product from a selection of 50 on April 1 (which was indeed the date of Apple’s fiftieth birthday, you April fools…;-)
Which we’ll gladly accelerate for you!
We have been working on a hypothesis that counters ubc Non-Algorithmic wall on simulation theory, this is more of a cyclical biological loop than simulation and we believe you maybe able to give us your thoughts on our hypothesis (osim)forensic cosmology hypothesis) The math is oklahoma constant and whitepaper is available on substack, if you have a moment to review we would love your feedback thank you.Other
It seems to be a biological loop not a silicon simulation and since the University of British Columbia has found that the Non-Algorithmic Wall says reality can't be digital our independent research group from Oklahoma has been looking into biological systems being the most efficient material in existence. Biology is millions of times more efficient than any computer chip which could suggest it's a biological loop (Life-Raft) not a digital matrix. The Big Bounce which some new researchers this week in April 2026 are suggesting wasn't just a big bang one time but an infinite bounce. (Cyclical). if that is proven it turns our hypothesis into reality because if you have an infinite bounce and we are here now talking about this then 1 x infinite = infinite so this will happen infinitely. If it is a big numbers game it is not just likely it is mathematically guaranteed. This would also show that it is not a multi-universe( mutiverse )because since it is biological it wouldn't be recreated in itself but instead resetting the same physical system over and over , Our team is just documenting the Sovereign Blueprint of how this works and we think seeing the universe as a highly efficient biological Life-Raft where humanity seems to be the prime reason for the system changes the whole conversation because the data is showing that we are the hardware not the software. It is falsifiable , if the universe is proven to keep expanding then the big freeze wins and osim is proven wrong, or if silicon or another material can mimic life and be more efficient than biological systems then osim is proven wrong. We are officially moving away from the "creator" or " programmer " and focusing on the forensic cosmology blueprint.....(Oklahoma sim theory osim Sovereign Inception Model) forensic cosmology.